When Your Sex Drive Is in Hibernation: 5 Books That Bring A Little Spice

So… let’s just name it. Sometimes, your sex drive disappears.

Not forever. Not because you’re broken. Just… gone. One day you’re fantasizing mid-conversation, and the next you're staring at your ceiling like, “Where did all the wanting go?”

For high-achieving perfectionists, the bi+ community, folks healing from religious shame, or anyone navigating burnout—this can feel especially confusing. You’re used to analyzing, fixing, achieving. But desire? Doesn’t work that way.

Desire is wild. It thrives on curiosity, not control.

So if yours has gone quiet? That’s okay. We’re not here to force it back. We’re here to coax it. To flirt with it. To get reacquainted with pleasure on your terms.

Let’s start with your ears, shall we?

The Erotic Revival: Audiobooks with Spice

You don’t need a perfect body, a willing partner, or a charged toy to feel desire again. Sometimes, all it takes is a voice in your ear whispering fictional filth into your soul.

Cue: your Libby app. Here’s your no-shame, all-thrill reading list.

1. Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner

Spice: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Queer content? Lesbian MILF energy
Why it works: The steam starts immediately. As it should.

This is hot, queer, emotionally nuanced, and full of unapologetic pleasure. There’s a reason readers are obsessed.

2. Icebreaker by Hannah Grace

Spice: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Queer-friendly? Straight, but perfect for sports romance lovers
Why it works: Because emotionally soft hockey boys are unexpectedly elite.

The romance is tender, the banter is funny, and the spice is satisfying. Also, who knew figure skaters and hockey players were soulmates?

3. In the Long Run by Haley Cass

Spice: 🔥🔥🔥
Queer content? Lesbian slow burn
Why it works: Cass gives us real emotional development and believable heat.

When it hits, it hits hard—and it earns every fire emoji.

4. For the Fans by Nyla K

Spice: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Queer content? Gay male stepbrothers
Why it works: Joyfully filthy with serious emotional payoff.

Come for the taboo setup. Stay for the tenderness. Nyla K writes characters who feel everything.

5. Deep End by Ali Hazelwood

Spice: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Queer Content? Straight romance, sex worker rep, STEM female lead
Why it works: A brilliant woman reclaiming her pleasure? Yes, please.

Ali Hazelwood makes kink feel joyful and consent-driven. It’s smart, sexy, and full of STEM-fueled sass.

Eroticism Is More Than Just Sex

As Esther Perel says:

“Eroticism is not sex per se, but the qualities of vitality, curiosity, and spontaneity that make us feel alive.”

Eroticism is about aliveness. The shimmer behind your skin. The spark that says, “I want.”

Pleasure Without Pressure

Sometimes, the goal isn’t climax. Sometimes it’s just... contact. Connection. Curiosity. That’s why I’ve built a resource on non-orgasm-focused pleasure practices to help couples and solo folks reconnect with their bodies without performance pressure.

Pleasure Without Pressure – Download this free worksheet!

Until then? Try something soft. A touch that doesn’t lead anywhere. A whispered fantasy. A chocolate meditation.

Sensuality in the Everyday

Start with something small and indulgent.
- A flower blooming.
- A piece of dark chocolate.
-  A deep breath under a good blanket, noticing how it feels when it brushes across your collarbone.

Pleasure doesn’t have to be explicit to be erotic. Sometimes, it’s just the way you stretch, or the feeling of warm water down your back.

“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything than when we are playing.” – Charles Schaefer, psychologist and play researcher

And what is eroticism, if not play?

Your Next Steps

Here’s how to start coaxing that spark back:

Download The Libby Library App - and reserve a spicy audiobook or two
Try the Chocolate Meditation – five minutes of full-body sensual mindfulness
Download the FREE Pleasure Without Pressure Worksheet
Look around today and ask: What feels a little erotic to me right now? A scent? A texture? A thought?

Follow that. Even just a little. That’s where desire begins again.

A Reminder: You Are Not Broken

If your sex drive has gone quiet, you’re not failing. You’re listening. You’re evolving. And maybe, just maybe—you’re ready to come home to yourself in a new way.

So go ahead. Reserve the audiobook. Light the candle. Take the long bath. Touch your skin like it belongs to you (because it does). Let yourself want things again.

Not because you have to.
Not to fix anything.
Just because you can.

And you deserve that kind of joy.