[Photo credit: Marlen Stanlhuth]

Slowly Trusting: How to Build Trust in Therapy

Don’t tell your therapist anything—until you feel safe.

In a culture that celebrates “radical vulnerability,” here’s your permission to take it slow. Therapy isn't about dumping your story on someone with a clipboard. It's about building a relationship rooted in trust—and that takes time.

Why Trust in Therapy Matters

Therapy works best when there’s a real, human connection. Research backs it up: the relationship between therapist and client is the number one predictor of positive outcomes. Not credentials. Not methods. The connection.

Especially in queer-affirming therapy, trust is layered and complex. Feeling safe, seen, and not stereotyped makes all the difference. Every tiny moment—a therapist remembering your pronouns, or following up on something you said last week—becomes a deposit in the trust bank.

Building Trust, Not Performing Vulnerability

Think of it like hiking unfamiliar terrain. You don’t leap; you test the ground first. You "double-tap" the rock to make sure it’s steady. Therapy can be that way, too. Start with small disclosures. See how they’re received. Do you feel heard? Are your boundaries respected?

Online therapy (telehealth) can sometimes make this easier. It allows you to stay in a familiar environment while exploring emotional territory. And if you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, searching for queer-affirming therapists online can be a crucial first step toward feeling safe.

Therapy Is a Journey, Not a Reveal

You don’t have to pour your heart out in session one. If your therapist is patient, warm, and consistent, you’ll start to feel that solid ground beneath you. And when you do? That’s when deeper healing begins.

So no, you don’t owe anyone your trauma on a first visit. Trust in therapy is a journey, and it’s okay to take your time getting there.