Slowly Trusting: How to Build Trust in Therapy

Don’t tell your therapist anything

…until you feel safe and trusting.

There’s a lot of pressure these days to be vulnerable. To spill our guts. To open up instantly. But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t about performing vulnerability—it’s about building trust. And trust takes time. And when we talk about queer affirming therapy, trust is even more nuanced.

Trust in Therapeutic Relationships

Building trust in therapy is a slow process that needs patience and understanding. Every individual's journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. When both sides recognize this, you create this beautiful, safe space where you can truly open up.

Imagine that you share a short story about growing up. Maybe it's something that seems insignificant, but it's personal to you. Your therapist really listens, acknowledges your feelings, and shows they understand. That right there? That's trust being built. It's those small moments that make you think, "Okay, I can share a bit more next time."

I like to think of trust like a savings account. Every good session puts a little more in the emotional support bank. Every time your therapist remembers something important you mentioned last week, that's another deposit. Of course, misunderstandings or feeling unheard can lead to withdrawals. That's why consistency is so important.

How Do You Build Trust in Therapy?

Research shows that the single most important factor in whether therapy is successful isn’t the therapist’s education, their approach, or their years of experience. It’s the relationship between therapist and client. The connection. The rapport. That means the most important part of therapy isn’t diving straight into the deep end—it’s modeling what it means to get to know someone slowly.

When I was younger, my family would go hiking, and on the rockier paths, we had this habit. Before stepping onto an unfamiliar rock, we’d use our foot to double-tap it. Just a quick test to see if it could hold our weight before we committed to the step. If the rock shifted? We’d adjust. If it was solid? We’d move forward.

The best therapy spaces are ones where you feel you can say what's really on your mind. When you sense your therapist genuinely values what you have to say and respects your boundaries, trust just develops naturally. This mutual respect sets the stage for those deeper conversations where real progress happens.

And you know what really helps? When your therapist follows through. If they say, "Let's check on how that work situation is going next week," and then they actually remember to ask, this reliability speaks volumes.

Trust in Therapy: It's All About the Journey

At the end of the day, the goal is to create a space where you feel safe enough to explore your thoughts without worrying about being judged. When you have that security, you're more willing to share the tough stuff—and that's where transformation begins.

I’m asking you to double-tap that therapist (jk, but actually). Actually, before you even start, take baby steps, such as looking for telehealth counseling. Some people tend to feel more at ease seeking emotional support through online therapy. Then, I suggest going even further and focusing your search on queer affirming therapy.

In a world that keeps telling us to "be vulnerable," it's worth thinking about what actually makes us feel secure with someone new. Maybe it's how your therapist listens without interrupting, or how they remember the names of people important to you, or how they never make you feel silly for your concerns. These little things signal "this person is trustworthy," and that's the foundation for healing and ultimately trust in therapy.

Because the goal isn’t just to be open—the goal is to be safe.

Trust in Therapy and Emotional Support

So if you’re starting therapy, take your time, especially when you first engage with a telehealth therapist for self-discovery. See how they respond to small disclosures before you share the big ones. Notice whether they listen, whether they meet you with warmth, whether they hold space for you without rushing in to fix or dissect.

Trust isn’t built in a single session. It’s built in the tiny moments—the pauses, the small nods, the way they remember the things that matter to you.

And when you feel that solid footing—when you know the ground beneath you will hold—that’s when you take the next step. Trust in therapy becomes easy. Soon, it's second nature.